Akechi is a Dead Gay and Ren Killed Him
by I.W.P-chan
Summary: The barista is cute, and Goro Thirsts.


Summary: The barista is cute, and Goro Thirsts.

 _Note: I'm not gonna stop with the Thirst Fics any time soon. They give me Life._

 _Fic started by commentary on how Ren's neck is drawn in the anime, and I decided 'hey let's have another shuake thirst fic about the Neck' because I have a one-track mind like that ^^;_

 _Used to be a gift fic, now ungifted._

 **Warnings: Yet Another Thirst Fic, We're Gonna Thirst Fic About Every Single Part Of AkiRen's Body (Or At Least TRY), Dat Neck Tho, Ryuji Is Ready To Murder, Ann To The Rescue, Futaba Is ALWAYS Watching.**

 **Disclaimer:** Don't own P5.

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Goro came to Leblanc on recommendation for the coffee and curry; both of which were amazing, truly, not even his most overwhelming distracted moments could even stop the combination from making an impact on him.

He got the coffee and curry he asked for and then some.

If by 'some' one could mean the cute as all get out barista who served him.

And honestly, 'cute' was too innocent for the thoughts currently raging through Goro's head.

Dark hair in messy curls (sex hair, a treacherous part of his brain whispered, which meant the entirety of his brain, and it continued on to wonder if it was tangled or if Goro could easily rake his hands through it, make it mess-); gray eyes staring at him without letting anything slip through (sharp as a knife, and beckoning him over like temptation itself was looking back at him through those eyes).

Catching himself while staring deep into the barista's eyes and growing flustered over it, Goro attempted to drop his gaze down and then-

Hel _lo_ , Neck.

Such nice neck, strong with sharp collar bones showing through the barista's v-neck and open shirt, and damn did Goro want to kiss and lick and _bite_ -

"Excuse me, sir," A divine voice pierced through his daze, and Goro blinked, raising his head up to stare back at those gorgeous eyes _mhmm_ ; it was the barista, and damn did 'sir' roll nicely off his tongue.

"Yes?" With herculean effort, he managed to stop himself from smiling stupidly.

"Your cup, it's about to spill."

Goro's attention snapped back to the cup of coffee in his hands to see that it was tilting dangerously and getting closer and closer to giving him a stain on his pants and the front of his shirt.

(And given how hot it still was, he didn't even want to think about potential burns.)

"Ah!" Goro righted the cup in his hands and sent an awkward smile to the barista, who merely nodded at him, still looking as stoic and unaffected as he had since Goro walked in.

An embarrassed blush crept up Goro's neck to stain his cheeks.

(With his luck, he was probably glowing with his own embarrassment. It was completely unflattering, and the barista probably didn't even want to look at him in that moment.)

(Being Goro was Suffering.)

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Ren exhaled heavily the moment Gorgeous left Leblanc and blindly reached for his phone, quickly fumbling through his chat app for the desired group chat to let out the scream stuck in his throat through incoherent messages.

 **Ren:** LJKSAGDJGASKDGKJASHDJKASDBASD

 **Ren:** KJGHASKJGDKJSDHKAGFKASGDKASD

 **Ren:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Ren:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Ren:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Ryuji:** GODDAMMIT AGAIN?

 **Ann:** WHO'S THE HOTTIE? :D

 **Ren:** LJAHSDKJAGSDLKAHSDJKGAKSVDAKSDASD

 **Futaba:** DON'T WORRY FAM I GOTCHU

 **Futaba:** YOU KNOW I'M ALWAYS ON THE LOOKOUT

 _Futaba sent potentialthirsttarget. jpg_

 _Futaba sent thirsttargetconfirmed. jpg_

 _Futaba sent potentiallyinterestedthirsttarget. jpg_

 _Futaba sent doyouheartheweddingbellsbecauseisureashelldo. jpg_

 **Ann:** !

 **Ann:** He's adorable! Aw! And is that a blush?

 **Futaba:** it is :3c

 **Ann:** He's definitely interested! :D

 **Ren:** LJASHDKJAGKSJDGKASGDKASD

 **Ann:** FUTABA I'LL GET YOU ALL THE SNACKS YOU WANT BUT I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING YOU CAN FIND OUT ABOUT THAT CUTIE!

 **Ann:** EVERYTHING.

 **Makoto:** Futaba DON'T!

 **Ryuji:** Futaba DO

 **Ryuji:** I need to know who I'll be beating up in a dark alley!

 **Ren:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Yusuke:** I must confess, I share Ryuji's sentiment.

 **Haru:** My heart is ready!

 **Haru:** My body is ready!

 **Haru:** But most importantly!

 **Haru:** My AXE is READY!

 **Ren:** ASHDKJAGSDJKHASGDAS

 **Ren:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Futaba:** Wait, where is Morgana?

 **Ren:** SOB

 **Ren:** AT THIS RATE I'LL DIE SINGLE

.

Goro stiffened while he waited for his train at the station; he could easily feel the murderous intent aimed at him.

He tried to subtly look around and see who was staring at him, but no dice, no one was focused on him.

He frowned; something wasn't right.

.

Hidden out of sight, a blue-eyed black cat observed one Akechi Goro with narrowed eyes, ready to rip him to shreds if necessary.

.

Ryuji didn't waste any time in heading over to Leblanc; storming into the café, he shouted, "Alright, where is the love struck maiden?"

"Not so loud!" Boss snapped, and Ryuji rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "The kid's upstairs, and Futaba's with him."

Ryuji nodded gratefully and hurried up the stairs to find Futaba snickering into her phone as she sat on the chair next to Ren's bed, while Ren sat on the aforementioned bed, scowling darkly down at his own phone.

"Why does he look so stupidly cute in his selfies?! Life is so unfair…" He grumbled, and Ryuji sighed, shoulders slumping- if he was reading the sight in front of him correctly, then Ren and Futaba were already deep into Thirst Target's social media accounts, doing what? Ryuji didn't want to know.

"A name, Futaba," He said, "What's the guy's name?"

Futaba raised her head from her phone screen and squinted at him, "No snacks, no information."

"Oh, come ON!"

.

Something was wrong.

Goro sweated bullets as he stood in the entrance to Leblanc, feeling the dark aura rolling off the barista in waves and choking Goro in murderous intent as the barista's eyes drilled holes into him.

He had no idea what he did to somehow offend the barista between the last visit and the current one, but he needed to know so that he could fix the situation _ASAP_.

.

 _Futaba sent renisdoingitagain. jpg_

 **Ann:** Jeez that dork keeps accusing US of being the reason he's single

 **Ann:** when HE'S the reason all his crushes get scared off

 **Ann:** honestly, who gets so offended over his crush' pics looking too good?!

 **Makoto:** Look, no one accused Ren of being particularly sane when it comes to his crushes

 **Makoto:** let's hope he doesn't scare off THIS one as well

 **Ann:** Poor guy looks so confused and scared

 **Ann:** what should we do?

 **Makoto:** At this point, they need to clear up the air between them

 **Haru:** Mako-chan, I can't believe you're going along with this!

 **Makoto:** Well it's not like we're going to keep Ren away from pursuing a romantic relationships with others forever!

 **Haru:** Alright…

 **Haru:** But I hold rights to give The Crush the Shovel Talk!

 **Makoto:** Wouldn't have it any other way…

 **Ann:** I have an idea

 **Makoto:** And that is?

 **Makoto:** Ann?

 **Makoto:** Ann you're not responding…

 **Makoto:** Ann I hope you're not about to do something regrettable…

.

The bell over the door chimed, indicating a new arrival, and the barista didn't even twitch his smoldering (and not the good kind of smoldering) gaze away from Goro.

There went the hope for a reprieve.

The new arrival walked with purposeful steps into the café and pulled out the chair right next to Goro, sitting on it.

Goro blinked as the sight of blond pigtails invaded his vision along with a pair of big blue eyes staring at him intently.

"Hello!" A beaming smile, "You must be The Crush I've heard so much about!" A twinkle in blue eyes, "Well maybe not so much heard as saw incoherent messages about."

"Excuse me?" He raised a confused eyebrow, and was met with a mischievous curl of the other's lips.

"Oh, didn't Ren tell you?" A wave in the direction of the barista and then a wink, "This guy here has been literally screaming about you in our chat. And lurking through your social media accounts." A wide grin, "Apparently you looked so cute in your selfies Ren grew offended about the unfairness of it all."

Silence.

The dark aura vanished and the barista squeaked out as his face exploded into an impressive blush, "Ann!"

Goro felt a matching blush climb up his neck, "Oh…"

"Just kill me already." The barista groaned, dropping his face into his hands while Ann radiated smugness.

( _And me while you're at it_ , Goro thought dazedly.)

.

End

Funfact: did you know that this isn't the first fic I posted due to P5A neck commentary? The first one was _Dead, Twice Over_ , though that one had already existed as a very rough outline that had to be reworked properly into a fic, but yes, the dual nature of Neck Fics.


End file.
